【新增联动番外短篇《北冥奇遇记》,指路专栏(=＞＜=)】作为仙门中一名普普通通,甚至连名字都经常不被人记住的初级弟子。封烨一直勤勤恳恳的做着门派的杂务工作。但就像扫地僧向来不简单一样,名为封烨的初级弟子,也不太简单。一天,披着1级小号马甲的封烨遇上同样披着1级小号马甲的郝沉。于是,苦逼的日子就开始了。遇到各自一只手指都能干翻的反派。封烨：瑟瑟发抖。郝沉：瑟瑟更发抖。为了捂马甲,无所不用其极。终于,遇上了不得不上大号的时候。为了找借口开溜,郝沉偷偷拍了自己一掌,喉中的鲜血还没来得及喷出来。封烨突然吐出一口鲜血,一脸虚弱道：我受了重伤,我要晕倒了。郝沉：......一口老血梗在喉中。表面不正经实则正经攻x表面正经实则不正经受封烨轻浮的挑了下眉,举着酒杯道：来一杯？郝沉见状却是一脸严肃：我不是那么随便的人。然后维持着正儿八经的表情拿起酒杯跟一脸懵逼的封烨手挽手,一本正经道：但是你的话,来交杯吧。封烨：？？？——————>新文文案分割线《当沙雕攻拿到虐文剧本》乍看起来,柏空无情又冷血,像是山中的孤狼,但跟教坊司的乐伎楚逸尘睡了一觉后,就变成了乖巧的狼狗。他不在乎楚逸尘的身份,可以为楚逸尘做任何事,哪怕那会让自己受伤,甚至危及性命。所有人都以为,柏空爱惨了楚逸尘,楚逸尘自己也这么以为。楚逸尘有个秘密,他压根不喜欢男人,他同时也非常不喜有人叫自己老婆,他容忍这些,不过是在利用柏空帮自己报仇。他从来都不爱柏空,从来都不。可后来大仇得报,柏空也在帮他报仇时死了,他并没有如释重负的轻松,只怔怔地看着男人的尸身,泪无声落满面庞。但楚逸尘不知道,柏空也有个秘密。他是个妖怪。他下山是因为修行遇到了坎,老妖怪说他光会化人形,骨子里还是头野兽,压根不懂人类,所以得下山学习人类的情爱。怎么学呢？去山下找个媳妇。老妖怪对怎么找媳妇说了许多,什么情投意合三媒六聘,柏空只记住了一句——娶媳妇要入洞房,入洞房=一起睡觉。柏空：懂了,我要找个人一起睡一觉。所以阴差阳错地跟楚逸尘盖着棉被单纯地睡了一觉后,第二天：柏空：嗨,老婆。为防柏空新婚没几天就把媳妇弄死,老妖怪还说了：不能咬你媳妇,不能跟对方抢吃的,总而言之,你得学着人类那样,对老婆好。所以柏空对楚逸尘百依百顺,哪怕楚逸尘叫他去做九死一生的事,他也二话不说就去了。当然,只是对人类九死一生,对柏空是轻而易举的事,他帮楚逸尘报完仇后,人类的身份也正好挂了,于是拍拍屁股回山,回山后老妖怪问他学会了人类的情爱没有？柏空：学会了。把山下的经历一说。老妖怪：……你学会了个屁。很久以后,楚逸尘才知道,柏空说想咬他一口,不是亲昵的爱语,而仅仅是,他真的想咬自己一口。狼咬兔子的那种咬：)【没有火葬场,本质上是两个不懂爱的人慢慢学会爱,酸酸甜甜夹杂一点小狗血的故事】求预收鸭~=3=
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