2.淑太妃日常(2)(1 / 1)
论萌宠是怎么练成的
2333的猫
1012 字
2022-04-27
显然淑太妃于此和我有同感,她不过是勉强啃了一个绿豆糕,就再也不肯啃第二个了,见我也是骨碌碌的喝水,一边难得好心的给我茶碗里添茶,一边感慨道:“说起来咖啡我就想喝了,可惜这都不知道是那儿的朝代,咖啡豆也不知道有没被发现,唉!谁说穿越好的?我如今都当了一人之下万人之上的狗屁太妃了,依旧想吃啥吃不着啥!那说好的人就活该拖出来打个一百遍才对!” 要不是这时候我正忙着喝茶解渴,我必定说话之前要甩两个乒乓球大的白眼球给她!看看这说的是什么话! 我喝够了茶水,把茶碗往炕桌上一放,冷笑一声道:“我说钟意啊,你差不多就得了!再唧唧歪歪就过了啊!你这当太妃的还算狗屁太妃?我这个当宫女的算啥?你且算算,还有个十天半月的,你就得又升一级当什么太皇太后去了,我也得从容姑姑真的升级到容嬷嬷去了!我都没嚎,你好意思嚎?!我倒是预备成容嬷嬷了,你咋没成乾隆那个剪头发的没脑子皇后?你咋没找两个夏紫薇小燕子之类的脑残给我虐着玩玩?你且说说,如今这剧情不对,我该怨谁?” 钟意这个淑太妃本就不靠谱,仗着没外人已经没个正形了,这时候听了我这抱怨,竟是不管不顾的哈哈大笑起来,拍着自己大腿笑得那叫一个猖獗!就差没推开炕桌满炕打滚起来! 我都懒得再说她,索性把炕桌和上头的点心茶水都一股脑的端开塞角落里,对这疯癫太妃,嗯,还是视而不见,权当她抽羊角疯去了~~ 等得钟意笑饱了,她才一骨碌的盘腿坐起来,大喇喇伸手对我只说了一个字:“茶!” 我挑了挑眉毛,也只回了一个字:“不!” 钟意不满了,学着我挑眉的样子,歪头问道:“为啥?” 我再次冷笑,指指那碟让人口渴的罪魁祸首的蜂蜜山药绿豆糕:“这谁异想天开的折腾出来的玩意儿?!你说你渴难道不是活该?!” 钟意终于是心虚的低下了头,呐呐道:“我这不是一时兴起,学了《红楼梦》里头那什么山药枣泥糕么?你也知道我不喜欢枣子那味道,这不是想着绿豆比较合口味么?谁知道……谁知道御膳房那群猪啊!简直就是打死了卖糖的!这又甜得齁嗓子又干得满嘴粉,那汪总管以为他做的马卡龙呢?!” 说着说着,钟意倒是越说越来劲,恨恨的吐槽起御膳房来了:“亏得如今咱们能开了小厨房了,要不然再搁御膳房那些饭食里头,只怕我没几年就成三高了!之前皇帝那身材,不也就是御膳房喂猪一般喂出来的?这提早翘辫子的原因,说不准也是有三高的原因呢!” “你那个便宜儿子都没了,你就别说人家三高不三高了!”我瞥她一眼,“要说御膳房喂猪,你不也是猪圈里头一员?咱们刚来的时候,你还是角落里头的没人搭理的钟太妃,我还是得和你往御膳房偷东西吃的时候,你怎么没觉得御膳房煮的算猪食?”我说着都忍不住好笑,刚穿越过来那段时光,如今依然历历在目,一个角落里等接灰的太妃,一个陪着太妃挨饿受冻的大宫女,两人为了填饱肚子什么的,简直就是无师自通的想了几百种偷吃法子,堪称是猥猥琐琐的合作无间的后宫无敌偷吃二人组…… 钟意大概也是想起同样的难忘时光了,自己也没撑住,又是一轮哈哈大笑起来,边笑边回忆道:“那时候咱们可是够倒霉的!那乌突突的房子,灰不溜秋的铺盖,大把大把旧衣裳都让咱们洗洗刷刷了整整五天啊!偏生还被人家克扣口粮,总是洗着洗着就饿得不想动,恨不得就把那院子里的杂草都扯了来啃啃!” 我也跟着笑起来:“是啊!估计就没比咱们更倒霉的穿越女了!钟意,你还记不记得?你头一回听外头送饭的小太监喊你钟太妃的时候什么表情?哈哈哈,你那石化的模样,我记忆犹新啊!” “你好意思说我呢?”钟意两掌一拍,毫不客气的取笑道,“你比我能好到那儿去?人家喊你容姑姑的时候,你不也一副吞了苍蝇吐不出的模样么?好在你比我更会摆面瘫脸,硬是面瘫着没露馅!哈哈哈……” 我边笑边摇头叹气道:“咱们那是倒霉都倒霉成一堆了!明明看着镜子里头还算青春啊——好歹比咱们上辈子青春不是?还是大学刚毕业的年纪呢,怎么的就成了太妃和姑姑了?钟意,你都算创了这世界的新记录了吧?十九当没封号的钟太妃,二十升级当有封号的淑太妃,如今二十三就要成太皇太后了……” “未来的容嬷嬷,你就别五十步笑百步了!你不是比我还更惨一些?”钟意边笑边揭我的底,“你这辈子可不是还比我小一岁?哈哈哈哈!二十二的容嬷嬷!难道不也是一样的刷新纪录了?宁容啊,咱们就是统一战线上的两乌鸦,谁也别笑谁,谁也不比谁白!” 我也禁不住,跟着大笑起来,未来的乌鸦太皇太后和未来的乌鸦容嬷嬷,本来就是相亲相爱的一家~~ 好在如今这长寿宫里头,上房这院子是从来不许其他宫女和太监靠近的,因为淑太妃喜静,先皇喜静,皇上喜静……总之就是如今宫里的三座大山都喜静就对了!然后管他们是谁派来的太监宫女,统统一律在两边侧院呆着就对了! 因而别说是钟意了,就是我自己,有时候也是忍不住在这上房里头放松了自己……二十郎当岁的年纪,换了在前世那个世界里,正该是我和钟意手牵着手四处浪,好好享受大好青春的时候……如今却是因为一起出游同出车祸的缘故,钟意白捡了个太妃当,我则是白捡了个姑姑当……
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