汉武帝:朕也可以明码标价,你看看朕啊(2 / 2)

天上视频仍在继续。

【下一刻,情形急变。】

【萧衍开始建佛寺了。】

【佛寺建好后,一国之主抛下他的国家,舍身去寺庙,他出家了!】

【大臣们集体懵逼,好好一个皇帝,怎么就跑去做和尚了呢,还披上袈裟,开坛大讲《涅槃经》、《金字三慧经》。问题是,你自己出家也就算了,这继承人还没定呢!国家大事谁来处理,你好歹给个准话啊!秦始皇就是因为没定继承人,死后秦朝生乱,你难道要重蹈覆辙?】

“嗯?”听到梁国大臣苦着脸商讨时,用他做例子,始皇帝微微扬眉。

没定继承人?

不可能,但凡他有一丝气力,都会让扶苏继位——难道他是突发恶疾暴毙?

还有,秦朝生乱是什么意思?

始皇帝想要知道更多,然而,这个视频终究是在介绍梁武帝萧衍,不以他意志力转移,始皇帝便只能按下不耐,再看下去。

【那些大臣追来佛寺,哭着求着他继续回去当皇帝。“陛下,国不可一日无君啊!还请陛下回宫。”】

【陛下说不回不回就不回,除非你们按照佛门规矩,把我赎回去。】

【有那么一瞬间,大臣们怀疑陛下是不是怕他们觉得打仗费钱,在同和尚合伙骗国库倒出钱来当军资?】

明朝。

“这办法不错!”永乐大帝朱棣眼睛一亮。

他可喜欢打仗了,但是他儿子管国库,铁公鸡一毛不拔,他个当老子的,每次想要打仗,都得千磨万磨才能从他儿子手中抠出钱粮。

……

唐朝。

李世民眼睛一……还没亮,民部尚书看他翘尾巴就知道他想干什么,板着脸往前一站:“陛下,梁武帝那是国库有钱,臣前些日子开库房,从里面扫出来几只死老鼠,统统饿得面黄肌瘦。”

李世民:“……”

行叭,先不打仗了。

【大臣们去找和尚交赎金,没想到和尚狮子大开口,加到一亿钱才肯放人。没办法,“人质”在他们手里,还死心塌地不愿意走,大臣们只能捏着鼻子认了。】

梁武帝萧衍瞧着视频,臊红了脸,臣子们面面相觑,不知该说什么。

隔壁国家宣武帝元恪用胳膊撑着床板想要坐起来,胳膊不受控制地打颤。他放弃了,他喊人了——

“扶朕起来!朕还能看!”

【大臣们本以为这就是闹剧的终结,没想到,三月刚交完赎金把人接回去上朝,同年九月,萧衍再次舍身寺庙,如果想赎回,还得交赎金,不要多也不要少,明码标价,就一亿钱。】

汉朝。

汉武帝滚了滚喉结,想到国库空虚,心动了,“怎么朕就没遇上这种人呢!朕可以给他建三四百座佛寺!他一天换一个住都行!”

朕也可以明码标价,你看看朕啊!!!

【而后,又发生了两次“舍身”,共花费四亿钱,皆被佛寺笑纳。】

汉武帝:“……”

草!

朕可以!朕真的可以!

<--di--!>
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