第5章 为何孩子似乎总在“搞破坏”?(1 / 2)

在做育儿功课时看了许多资料、又在上一份社科科普撰稿人的工作中看了许多心理学文献的李欣,早已不敏感于心理学术语的不好理解了。她的再上一份工作是市场研究公司的研究员,成天接触些更难懂的经济学与社会学术语。

所以她完全没想过,她跟家长讲个“儿童敏感期”、提到个“人格统一性的发展”[1],竟然会让家长听了就一脸茫然得如此彻底;而且,她虽对不同家长的育儿观点差异有了解,但也没想到,仅仅3岁多的孩子,就会被家长设定如此高的社交目标了!

更惊人的是,这位家长对这种社交目标的重视,甚至到了视孩子的心理成长需求的程度!

李欣自己虽不害怕社交,但她因为爱阅读而很能享受独处,骨子里是不偏好热闹社交的性格,所以她天然地容易理解:社交活动,最好在符合当事人心理需求的强度以内,才能带来心理满足感与成长收益,否则就会造成心理消耗与不良的社交体验。

从心理体验的角度看,论是成年人还是孩子,这种不良社交体验的发生,只会让他们更加不喜欢社交、甚至走向“社恐”。

李欣再有育儿咨询预约的一天,是下周的周五,萧雨周五并未排诊,他就专程负责开车接送、陪娃哄睡了。莲姐在4人小群里通报了预约情况后,照例由医馆的运营主管袁赫安排了场地,由于周五下午医馆有例会,于是最终约在了上午10:00-11:00这个时段。

这位袁赫,就是4人小群里的另一位成员,他比李欣夫妇都大,故被二人尊称为大哥;但他又比莲姐小两年,故被莲姐视为小弟。袁赫只在李欣最初就育儿服务项目提案时表达过对李欣的支持,但很少在小群主动发言,现有几次都是热心指出一些他人发言的不妥。

袁主管虽已确认过不在育儿服务项目中承担工作了,但热心表示会在医馆场地安排方面与莲姐做好配合、继续提供支持,故一直留在了4人小群中。

谁知周五早晨9:30,萧雨顺利用婴儿车推着芝芝去了医馆附近的小花园后,李欣一推开医馆会议室的门,就见到会议室桌子上散放着许多沙糖桔、及吃剩的沙糖桔皮,已有一队蚂蚁在这些东西周围爬来爬去了。李欣马上出来找工具收拾,并询问袁赫沙糖桔是谁的、要收到哪里去。

只比1.6米的李欣略高、但比李欣胖一圈的袁赫,一张大脸十分辜地连声说:“啊呀我都忘了,还有沙糖桔在会议室呢?是我的,给我就行,我昨天刚在那里招待完大家!我们清洁阿姨天天打扫呀,哪想到还能招来蚂蚁呢!我忙结算的事儿搞忘了……”

李欣已不是第一天认识这位袁大哥了,此前对他的印象都是热心周到,实没想到会有这么一出。时间有限,她见走廊外大厅的候诊区里还有家长带着小朋友、在等着进其他当值医生的诊室,就没多说什么。先全力跟大厅的几个小伙伴一起协作收拾,好歹在10点前清洁完毕、检查清楚屋内再没有蚂蚁了。

待终于将“哄娃百宝箱”放在了会议室桌面,李欣又送袁赫拿漏了的清洁工具到卫生间去给袁赫。她刚要走回会议室,就听到医馆门口有人进来、并在前台问:“您好,我是顾崇雯,我预约了10:00的育儿咨询,请问去哪间屋?”

李欣赶忙微笑着去迎接这位跟自己年龄相仿的客人,直接带她走进去。一边走,李欣一边观察到:这位顾女士路过候诊区时,眉头马上就皱了起来,像是看到了什么十分令她生气的画面。

但候诊区里并其他异常,只是由于刚刚负责大厅秩序的小伙伴都在帮忙收拾会议室,一时没人关注候诊区的小患者,所以供小患者放松的儿童角里,玩具和书籍被摆弄得比较混乱。

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