第十五章戏罢曾无理曲时(4)(1 / 2)
蚀月编史
露山
1061 字
2022-04-21
口鼻贴得很近,呼吸濡濡的,闷在被里有些溺于深水的感觉,什么也看不到。就这样溺了一会儿,各自觉得有些透不过气来,这时两片柔软的嘴唇猛然盖住另两片,尝起来糯得好似快死的海贝,肉的边缘都腐了、融化了,带着将蒸熟的热气,涌泉一样喷在她的鼻下,流过面颊,汇在耳眼里。当然也可以掀开了透一口气,但她偏去夺另一人肺里的,仿佛这淌水里总得淹死一个。她只要稍稍呻【防止屏蔽】吟出来,她的手指就摁住她的嗓,用掌抵着她的前胸,好像一道符咒贴着她似的,她将她克制在自己的方寸之间。
但这些也只是娱乐和游戏,莺奴被困住,不过是她愿意被困住;在那即将失去分寸的时刻,她即能反客为主,这才是她们的规则,带路的才是迷路的人,守城者原是攻将。她们好像行走在一座汤池间,所及之处哪里都是热气,弥漫着硫磺和滑苔的味道;陷入孤军中时,就有这无人之境的气味。
鱼玄机将丝被扑落了,夏鱼上岸,将喉咙绷直了张开,鳃还在翕动。换莺奴将散落的衣裳小心掩在她的肚腹上,垂下身去捂她的嘴,免得让外人把春色听去。鱼玄机闹起来,不管不顾的,她也不忍心扣她的声门,只在她喊声愈来愈响的时候停下手。这就像以神的手阻挡潮汐,往复几次能使大海震怒,于是那断续的吟哦在莺奴再次停下手的时候忽然变作哭声,她抽泣起来,呼声如同失群的小鸟一般,既尖利且弱小。
她从未听见鱼玄机这样哭过,想攀爬到前面去看,她拿两手捂着脸,边哭着边说,你不要停!莺奴还不放弃,要去摸那张流泪的脸,被她推回去了,继续说:“别管我!”
莺奴就重新俯下身来。从此处看去,女子的身体显得巍峨,山环谷抱,她的声音像两岸的猿鸣。莺奴凝神回到那片山河中时,高处的湖水已蓄势待发,江畔的山峰欲将她挤碎,她的世界正在愤怒、孤绝和无助中变得畸形,掀起的洪水即将冲毁旁观的人。哭声变弱了,重为那破碎的呻吟所代替,爱的高峰不再令人心驰,像是夕阳落下时不断膨大的山阴,逐渐将人盖住,最终迎来黯然的黑夜。
她觉察手中这具躯体缓缓安静下来,抬起头越过她的膝盖去看,鱼玄机还用双手掩着脸,只分开一点指缝,从里面露出一双哀戚的眼睛。莺奴带着被子落到她身边躺下,将她的头揽着。她眨了眨眼睛说:“你可不要离开我呀!”
她希望此刻能恒久地延长下去。她想,母亲像她这么大的时候,一定也是这样躺在父亲身边的,所以才有了她。那对不愿分离的爱的渴望组成了她,这是割除不掉的、血里的东西,不论她如何忽视这渴望,它总在原处。
莺奴点点头,说“不会的”。
她感到一种无法控制的悲哀,就因为她们永不相通,所以她说的“不”永不是自己所想的那个“不”,就连上官武和那样小的梁连城都可以轻易得逞……只有她不能,她是一个真正的“外人”,没有一件是顺从莺奴的心意生长出来的,所以不能。如果梦中可以心想事成,她会去梦中,但她不能去梦中,只有永远的清醒。
但她听到莺奴的回答之后,还是轻轻地说:“嗯。”转过身去牢牢地搂着莺奴的身体。就算只争朝夕也好,现在莺奴是她的了。
芳山过了片刻来送午膳,开门时莺奴正替鱼玄机梳头,鱼玄机手里拈着一只乳酪糕子吃。芳山也已见怪不怪了,反身合上门,站得远远地说,小蝶娘子的房间收拾完了,在后面闺阁。
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