第二十章贫贱江头自浣纱(7)(2 / 2)

蚀月编史 露山 1208 字 2022-04-21

“你便当作哪里都是我不好。”小袭两臂挂在她脖子上,她拿手按着裙口,不让他用脚蹭下去了。

鱼玄机把次子的手解开,从她怀里接过来。莺奴这一次没再依依不舍,眼只是不离鱼玄机。她调了调袭在她怀里的位置,抬起头看见莺奴那双似会人语的眼正对着她看。

她叹了一口气。“你看着我。”

莺奴向着那白色的眼睫看进去,她的眼里刮着她出生之日的大风雪。在那大风雪中,她站得远远的,抱着小袭,仿佛融化在天地间。小袭的身体也静静的,一动都不会动,像她亲手雕的一个木偶,松开手就能看见他头上吊着丝线,像她长发一样雪白的天蚕丝。

她开口道:“如若你想听,耳聋亦能听。若不想听,不必听。人言你所欲,向来如此。此世之真在于你,非真亦然;假如少听能静,何妨不听。”

莺奴站在雪中看她,忽然想起给狐奴送葬那一日。狐奴为何被她捏造成一个女子,她现在明白了。这影像的重叠令她有一缕模糊的伤感,想必是这画面唤起了亲手割断他喉咙的回忆。她不愿亲手割断鱼玄机的喉咙。

她在那大雪之中回应道:“是我不好。……你不要离我而去。”

鱼玄机在风中对她一笑,一步步向她走过来,越近便越清楚,风亦渐止。待她走到莺奴跟前的时候,雪也停了,她靠在莺奴的耳旁说道:“这便由不得你。”

鱼玄机抱着小袭探出车去,对车夫喊停。车马在路旁踢踢踏踏地停下,莺奴掀开帘子对她唤道:“你去哪里?”

鱼玄机仿佛回头对她说了句话,她听不清。但她马上发现并非只是这句话听不清,而是听不见一切声音。她目送鱼玄机往太湖边去,有人从后面上来,敲着厢壁问教主要不要趁此时补给些吃喝,她一直没听见,直到那人掀开帘子。

她的表情很错愕,来人也很错愕,又对她重复了一遍问题。她发现此时可以听见他的话了,只不过不知听到的是自己所想,还是对方所说,心中一时仿佛卷起千层巨浪,口上却很安然地回复:“歇会儿罢。”

她竟失聪了。

鱼玄机已经消失在她的视野中。

湖边有个红衣少女在浣衣,鱼玄机抱着孩儿从她身后靠近,她没有察觉。旁边立着一座土坟,供着一坛酒,不过坛子已碎了,里面的酒不知是被哪个乞丐喝去。

她站在那少女背后等了一会儿,侧过头去看那坟前的碑。碑上没有写秦棠姬的名。

小袭在她怀里睡了,她再往前走了几步,那少女从水里看到她的倒影,骇然抬头,看她抱着一名熟睡的幼儿,又不敢高声语,只是放下衣裳站起来,两手在裙上揩。

鱼玄机对她笑了笑,从衣袋里摸出一钱银子,轻声说,怕扰醒了怀里的小儿:“四娘,把你家的浴桶带给我。”

那少女很惊愕,不知她从哪里知道自己的名字。看到她额上有一个和秦棠姬一样的红痕,不敢多想,于是接过钱来,将水里的衣服绞了绞,夹在腋下,小跑着回去。她顶着家中那只木桶回来,鱼玄机还在岸边等她。

“夫人,我家的浴桶底下有条缝。”

“无妨。你走吧。”

她跑开了。鱼玄机将孩儿放到桶中,将桶一把推到太湖水中,退回岸上,看着那桶一点点漂远。日暮时的风从陆地吹往湖心,小袭就坐着那桶舟渐渐离开人间,谁也不知他最后去往哪里。

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=======第六卷《金鸾穿月》完,后事请见第七卷=======

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