第278章 不是这样的(1 / 2)

充斥着怒火的声音震得裴晏如回不过神来。

身体上的疼一时间都比不上心上的疼,她白了脸色,解释的话却很苍白,“不是这样的,我是,是不想让你担心....”

她怕,怕他知道,然后不顾一切要为她付出,怕他出事。

“再且说了,我不是没事吗,现在好好的,我自己就是大夫,哪里对自己的身体不了解,孩子什么的都会有的,你别担心....”

她试图去拉男人的衣袖,却被甩开了。

裴晏如看着手心空落落的:“......”

沈于渊冷笑着看着她,“在你昏睡的时候我特意请大夫看过了,若是再不好好珍惜,别说是孩子,就是你这条命,都一定能活多久!”

到底,他到底还是知道了。

裴晏如指尖无力的落在锦被上,勉强扯出一笑,“沈于渊,我们能再拥有一条命本就是上天恩赐,便是哪一日还回去又如何?”

话音落下的瞬间,“嘭!”一声巨响。

沈于渊一拳砸在床沿,鲜血顺着手背流下,裴晏如吓了一跳,用力拽下来他的手,看着那狰狞的伤口,淌着血。

一时间,心底的防线似乎也随着这一声,被砸的粉碎,一直以来紧绷着的线崩了,泪盈于眶,她紧紧咬着下唇,垂下的睫羽轻颤,却在抬眼对上那双满是怒火的眸时,滚下泪来,“你以为我不在乎性命吗!这是我欠她们的,我要还给她们!这辈子我本就是来赎罪的啊....”

第一世时裴府的人都是为她死的……她欠她们的……

看着男人的怒容,她笑了下,笑着笑着,眼圈通红一片,“我记得,我记得所有的事,知道你会为了我发疯,所以我不敢告诉你,你说错了,我不是没有考虑过我们的将来,只是总是事与愿违,那一日,如果不是我知道爹娘就在大兴国,如果没有赐婚,我会嫁给你的。”

眼泪顺着脸庞落下,似断了线的珍珠。

若是裴府中人见了,定然惊讶不已,她们的裴大姑娘,自小便是清冷如玉的人儿,便是软弱之时也从未因为哪件事掉过泪,就是夫人将军噩耗传回来那日,全府的姑娘丫鬟婆子都哭的稀里哗啦,只有大姑娘就呆呆的站在那,双目空洞,但愣是没有半点眼泪,好半天才听见大姑娘呢喃,“不可能的,爹娘不会出事的。”

素来冷静运筹帷幄的裴大姑娘,如今却在男人面前哭成了泪人。

沈于渊心脏像是被一只手紧紧攥着,往外撕扯,疼的厉害,他抬手,将人儿拥入怀里,哑了嗓,“对不起,对不起我不该不信你。”

只是他生气,在知道宫变一事全是她一手策划,又落冰湖之时,他浑身的血液似乎都凝固住了,心脏仿佛要跳出胸腔,恐慌几乎笼罩了他,他的神经崩断了,满脑子只想着要把她牢牢捆在身边,最好哪里都去不得。

他的小姑娘,不应该勾心斗角,不应该以伤害自己为代价赎罪,更不应该整日活得那么累。

他记忆中的人儿,是那个在春花开满的小院子中,在午后的回廊里,执着书回眸浅笑间惊艳了时光,惊艳了他的姑娘,是那个温柔待人笑如河清的姑娘。

他忘不了,在他人生中最黑暗之时,她的温柔,她的笑容,像是一束光,将阴暗的他彻底照亮。

“我也有错,我不应该什么事都不同你商量。”裴晏如抱着人,枕着那紧绷着的肩膀,轻轻缓缓的笑了笑。

“陛下同意了也好,修建行宫一事我们总有办法解决,我们先成婚,往后都一同商量好不好?”

她语调温柔,带着轻哄。

闻言,沈于渊将人搂紧,好半晌才应了声,“若是还有下次,你当如何?”

“不会的啦。”裴晏如信誓旦旦。

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