第139章 如厕(1 / 2)

唯愿久安 靳文韬韬 0 字 2021-10-03

才一进到内室,铃娘就知晓自己是来对了,看着睡在了地上的小于,再看看榻上小宁斜挎的睡姿,铃娘无奈地摇了摇头,到底还是一群孩子啊!

只是注意到阿九黑暗中圆溜溜的眼睛,铃娘原本轻松的内心不免重重一提,怎么还没睡着?是没有睡着还是受外物影响惊醒?

虽然知晓自己的动作极轻,且自己出门的时辰阿九便是与小宁小于玩闹也该睡着了,但是铃娘到底还是心生怀疑。倒也不是害怕阿九知晓此事,只是有心隐瞒的事情,必是在自己看来最好的安排,一旦被他人得知,便再不在自己的掌控之中了。

只是阿九年纪这样小,铃娘心内怕的却是另一件。若是阿九听了些什么去,倒也算不得什么,就怕阿九发现日夜相处的乳娘与她认知之中的模样有了出入。说到底,铃娘怕的还是阿九与她生了隙。

毕竟,随着阿九一日日的长大,对铃娘的依赖便逐渐减退。从一开始的满眼依赖,甚至于都不下陆夫人的程度,到广阳郡王府一家登门那日之后,阿九突然转变的态度,再到后来慢慢断奶,其中阿九的态度,铃娘是最能够真切体会的。只是阿九渐渐长成,渐渐有了自我,渐渐独立,这个过程本就是必然,铃娘生养了四个孩子,虽然到头来身边只有阿九一个,终究还是明白这其中的道理。

只是很多时候,明白道理是一回事,感情便又是另一回事儿了。已经将阿九放在了最为重要的位置,感受到自己越发的不重要,铃娘心间有时候也会有些酸涩。其实当真是不重要吗?其实也不尽然,毕竟阿九最为倚重的从来都是杨妈妈与铃娘。

不论信任程度还是能力高低,阿九都是明确的知晓,杨妈妈与铃娘的重要性。更是因为杨妈妈与铃娘来处相同又不尽相同,是以她们侧重的方向还不一样,以至于她们都是同等的重要。

铃娘自己也明白,只是她心中感受到的不重要,也并不是被倚重信任的程度,不过就是前后对比。在一个孩子还什么都不懂的年纪里,只有温暖熟悉的怀抱,是使其安心的全部。而随着他一日日的成长,他明白了怀抱有多小,世界有多大,那一刻他不再躲在安稳的怀抱之中,而是大胆的去探寻这个大大的世界。

道理谁都明白,但是面对实际情况之时,是人心内总还是少不了酸涩。

铃娘知晓自己不该想这些,但是对于阿九有可能发现自己有秘密瞒着她,她却还是有些慌张。只是铃娘这半生,经历太多,纵是慌张面上也不显,是以也就渐渐地发现阿九蒙着水雾一般的眼睛。这一眼,铃娘心头所有的担忧顿时消散,转而便是轻声的询问。毕竟阿九睡醒了之后,湿漉漉的眼睛宛如雨过的天空。

被铃娘抱着去了净房,阿九原本也只是顺着铃娘的话随口一说,却不曾想当真坐下来,倒也真的有几分憋得慌的感觉。随着身体微微的一阵颤栗过后,阿九一身轻松。因为膝盖还疼的厉害,阿九也就直接朝着铃娘张开了双臂,弱弱地说道:“铃娘,我不想走。”

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