第二百九十章 清理肠胃(2 / 2)

朝为田舍郎 贼眉鼠眼 1629 字 2022-04-26

韩介叹道:“侯爷,您这主意太……大胆了,边监军若有个三长两短,长安追究起来……”

“吃点泻药只会神清气爽,哪里来的三长两短,别废话了,这剂泻药今日必须有人吃下去,有两个选择,你吃或者他吃,不准思考,马上回答,到底给谁吃?”

韩介不假思索脱口而出:“边监军吃。”

说完韩介紧紧抿住唇,如同刚刚自渎过的贤者,一脸的自我厌恶。

顾青赞许道:“你看,你的身体多么诚实,还等什么,快去给边监军的肠胃来一次触及灵魂的洗礼吧。”

…………

帅帐内,顾青与边令诚正风驰电掣般大口吃饭。

大营的将士差不多已准备开拔了,帅帐外四处充斥着将领骂骂咧咧的呵斥声,兵马调动的嘈杂声。

顾青的吃相很难看,大口大口地往嘴里扒饭,端碗吸溜着菜汤,不时还吧唧嘴,边令诚是宫里出来的,对礼仪教养特别讲究,见顾青难看的吃相不由一阵阵皱眉。

顾青头也不抬地道:“边监军,快吃吧,顾不上仪态了,这顿吃过以后,下一顿大约要到晚上了,白天咱们不能停,兵贵神速呀,赶紧填饱肚子,行军之时可就没人照顾监军了,一切都是自己照顾自己。”

边令诚顿时凛然,监军多年,他对大唐王师行军的规矩也是很清楚了,知道顾青说的是实话,急行军委实没有时间停下来埋锅造饭,只能像骆驼一样胡吃海塞,让肚里多存点粮食,多顶一阵饿。

于是边令诚也顾不上吃相了,跟顾青一样大口扒饭喝汤,外面兵马调动的嘈杂声仿佛在催促他似的,越嘈杂边令诚吃得越快。

终于,在顾青吃饱喝足放下碗之后,边令诚也将面前的饭菜一扫而空,满足地打了个饱嗝儿,露出心满意足的笑。

“侯爷这帅帐的饭菜味道可比高节帅那边强多了,奴婢多谢侯爷赐饭。”边令诚笑道。

顾青哈哈一笑,道:“在长安时我便对吃之一道颇为在意,生平没别的爱好,唯独无法忍受粗劣之食,更不能辜负美食,来到军中也改不了这坏毛病,边监军见笑了。”

边令诚露出笑容刚准备客气几句,腹内忽然传来一股剧烈的疼痛,边令诚脸色一变,强笑道:“不知咱们大军何时启程?”

顾青浑若未见边令诚渐渐变化的脸色,朝帅帐外瞥了一眼,道:“马上开拔了,军令已传下去,前锋将士已经拔寨离营,我们也准备走吧。”

边令诚脸色渐渐苍白,豆大的汗珠从额头缓缓滑落,强笑道:“侯爷……您,您能否再稍等片刻?奴婢,奴婢……欲更衣后再行。”

“行军还更什么衣呀,边监军莫开玩笑,军令如山,片刻不能耽误,走吧。”

边令诚急了:“侯爷,侯爷且住!更衣……奴婢说的更衣,是,是……”

难以启齿地指了指自己的腹部,顾青顿时恍然:“屙粑粑?拉臭臭?”

边令诚愕然,不明其意,但还是稀里糊涂地点点头。

顾青面露为难之色,道:“还请边监军快一点,开拔的军令已下,不能随便更改,我让大军稍微放慢行军的速度,边监军解决完后快马追上来如何?”

边令诚忙不迭点头,感激地道:“多谢侯爷体谅,奴婢失礼了,这就告辞。”

说完边令诚夹着屁股,以一种古怪的姿势冲出了帅帐。

顾青忍着笑,看了一眼进来的韩介,道:“你给他下了多少药?”

韩介忧虑地叹息:“按照侯爷吩咐的,下了三人份的药,可能有点猛了。”

顾青露出羡慕之色:“边监军有福了,从今以后拥有了健康绿色的肠道,幸福!”

韩介忧心地道:“侯爷,真没事吧?不会害了边监军的性命吧?”

顾青满不在乎地道:“塞外苦寒荒蛮之地,偶染疟疾,跑肚拉稀,不是很正常么?拉死了向长安上一道奏疏,请陛下再派一位监军来便是。顺便为边监军为国捐躯请功。”

指了指四周,顾青吩咐道:“让人把帅帐拆了,启行吧。”

左卫兵马拔寨离营,与于阗五千守军一起收拾了营房,骑上战马沿着荒凉的沙丘缓缓朝西行去。

原来的帅帐周围已然空空荡荡,左卫将士把能带走的都打包了,刚才还热闹喧嚣人马嘈杂的大营,此时只扔下了一地垃圾,以及……蹲在某个偏僻角落拉得生不如死的边令诚。

直到顾青率领的大军走远,边令诚才擦着冷汗,意犹未尽地起身。

两名随从见边令诚脸色不对,不由问道:“监军您无恙吧?”

边令诚虚脱地摇头,叹道:“不知走了怎样的霉运,偏偏在这个节骨眼儿……唉,顾侯爷的大军走多远了?”

“走了约莫十几里了,监军,咱们快追上去吧。”

边令诚点头,随即咬牙道:“追上去,今日我便盯死了他,看他一介书生如何指挥打仗,但凡有半点错失,我定要参他个贻误军机之罪!”

刚走两步准备上马,边令诚淡定的神情忽然一变,右手猛地按住前面随从的肩膀,勃然变色道:“不好!又来了!”

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