第233章 自带枷锁(下)(1 / 2)

魂坠太平 安乐难乐 0 字 2021-10-06

赵杉微翘着下巴,直视着他的眼睛,问:“你不怕,为何还弄个训练营出来?”

“是傅学贤,说府里的参护丁勇们久不经战都懒怠惯了,得拉出去集体训练一回。”杨秀清说着,不以为意地哼了一声,道:“真是皇帝不急急死太监。”

“那你想当…?”赵杉的话还没来得急问出口,马车已到西府门前。

赵杉起身下车,杨秀清把一块卷着的帕子塞到了她的袖里,才将她那只攥了一路的左手松开。

这晚,赵杉未按日常的习惯,更衣洗漱,就让侍女们全部打发了下去。

她从袖中掏出帕子展开,提起里面包着的红丝绒绳,见一只碧玉扳指系在上头。

“他怎么会送这个?”赵杉心头一颤,解下颈上挂的那只,放在一起比较。

除却大小跟玉质,两者毫无相似之处。杨秀清送她的那只,外面雕着浮云祥纹,而在里头刻了个“云”字。

赵杉将扳指摩挲之间,又疑惑起来:“这家传的扳指她一直是贴身而系,从未示于人前。他是如何知晓她戴这个的呢。是在平隘谷底的那天夜里,是在长沙城下还她发癔症之时还是在洞庭湖上她淹了水昏迷的时候,他…?”

想着想着便不觉以手掩胸,心房一阵狂跳。可想到那日他假做醉酒时说的那些话,还有刚才与她亲近时的种种表现,又不觉暗暗自语:“如果他真的借着这其中某个时候对自己做了什么,那么照他目空一切的高傲性子,是定然不会再做那些无用功的。”

一时,又想到在车上,他说“品月赏景”那话时的无限期待,无法言喻的心痛便就蔓延了全身。

她手握着新旧两只扳指,走去床边,开了枕箱,将旧扳指放进去,把新的这只系在了颈上,而后便木然倒在床上。

何、曾二人的对话,像魔咒在她脑中轮回闪现。那扳指则宛若是一颗鲜活的心脏,在她脖颈上跳动。

多年来,她恪守着“安身立命高于一切”的信条,将自己打磨成了一块再圆润不过的石头,经受过一道又一道激流的冲击。但如今,只半天功夫,她对这竟动摇了,迷惘了,只是因为脖颈上的这枚小小扳指。

赵杉静静地躺着,乱纷纷的思绪也缓缓复于平静。红鸾的那话就在这时冒了出来——“当初我救你,现在看是在救自己呢。”

“救自己。”这三个字在她脑海中乍一闪现的时候,她竟抖了一下。顷刻间,却又有那无数的叹号问号云集而来。她深吸着气,在心里自问自答。

问:“她是从何时与她脖子上所戴扳指的原主人的命运结为一个整体的?”

答:“当是始于‘天父’初次临凡时,她的那一跪。可要远溯起来,该是与杨水娇的相遇吧。”

问:“明知道身在泥潭多行一步就再脱身不得,今日为何还要去?”

答:“是因特殊的心理作怪,自觉前途渺茫而故意放纵吧。”

问:“知道脖子上这扳指于己于他是甚么吗?”

答:“于他也许不过是取悦人的物件。于己则必是一道枷锁。”

问:“既知道是枷锁,为何要亲手戴上?”

答:“因为如果不是想到那场近在眼前的杀戮,在画舫上,她必不是首先首先松开手的那个。”

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