第二十二章(2 / 2)

“我本来还想抱紧盟主大腿,以后少加点班呢。”于严一边发,一边对旁边同事说,“我看这盟主就是个倒霉催的丧门星。”

同事说:“疑似家庭暴力,下药谋杀亲夫,好,这就是现场版的恐婚教育,让你们都好好看看结婚的下场。”

于严看了同事一眼:“说得就跟你能找着对象一样,上回相的那个又吹了?人家没看上你,还是你没看上人家?”

“说不上,我没什么感觉,她也没什么毛病,反正大家都是普通人,就那样呗,能处就处。完事我家里人又不同意,非得说这是外地人,肯定是奔着我们家户口来的——你说逗不逗,人家也不认识我,不奔着户口来,难道还能是为了别的?”同事叼了根烟,心宽似海地笑了一声,“不同意就算了,反正我也无所谓。我爸妈要找儿媳妇,他俩出钱买房,那就他俩说了算,我不管。”

前排一个上了年纪的老民警回过头来:“说得都是什么话!”

“这是讲道理的话,本来就是谁出钱谁说了算啊,花了老两口的钱,就得听老两口的话。他俩说让我跟谁结婚,我就跟谁结婚,让我生几个,我就生几个。哥,咱们干这破工作,想靠自我奋斗买房买车,那是做梦,没钱哪来的自由?我早想开了,踏踏实实地啃老,别作,那就是孝顺。”

于严说:“一边去,三观不正。”

同事就说:“行吧,你三观正,那你首付攒出来了?”

于严:“……”

他以前觉得喻兰川是中二病到了第四期,跟自己家人较劲,自讨苦吃,这时,却好像忽然明白兰爷为什么倾家荡产,死扛几百万的负债了。

“哎,别聊了,于哥,快看你手机!”

于严一激灵,这是他和喻兰川约好的——今天上午有事微信联系,一旦那个“蜘蛛人”出现,喻兰川就第一时间用快捷键拨他电话,电话就是信号。

“走走走,快!”于严推开车门,一边带人往老年活动中心里跑,一边奇怪地嘀咕了一声,“他们不是还没开完会呢吗?”

喻兰川其实是出来透口气,因为新盟主是个未婚青年才俊,各大门派的前辈们都疯了,就差扑上来动手动脚了。喻兰川从小桀骜不驯,至今没相过亲,头一次应付这种场面,职场上摸爬滚打出来的高冷气场完全不顶用,只撑了几分钟,他就落荒而逃。

他溜到大厅接待处,给自己倒了杯咖啡,想清静一会,才刚坐下,一颗小纸团突然从身后打了过来,在桌上弹了几下,落到他手边,喻兰川猛地一回头,一道影子蓦地从他身后闪过,窗户开着,喻兰川探头一看,只见老年活动中心后面的公园小树林里,打扮成蜘蛛侠的人正远远地站在那。

这位“蜘蛛侠”人高马大,穿着淘宝买的“cosplay”紧身衣,质量十分堪忧,眼罩好像是用运动服内衬自己糊的,见了喻兰川,他一言不发,直接摆出架子。

“你到底是谁?”喻兰川端着咖啡溜达过去,问,“挑战半天,脸都不露吗?”

“蜘蛛侠”不吭声,隔着几步,做了个“起手式”——意思是,别废话,我要动手了。

喻兰川不理会:“你说你是‘堂前燕’的传人?你叫什么?从哪来的?跟堂前燕闫若飞先生什么关系?亲属还是师徒?有证明吗?”

“蜘蛛侠”紧身衣里的闫皓快疯了,电视剧里的高手们不是都一言不合就动手吗?怎么还有口试环节?

喻兰川:“是谁让你挑战我的?前一阵的高楼失窃案跟你有没有关系?”

闫皓不想跟他聊天,就想趁没人,打完赶紧走,起手式既然已经做了,他觉得自己礼貌周全了,于是干脆一咬牙,朝喻兰川扑了过来,一拳砸向喻兰川肩膀。

“小心,这是热水。”喻兰川皱起眉,轻飘飘地错身躲开,把热咖啡放在旁边的小石桌上,抬手,闫皓目光一凛,以为他还手,却见喻兰川举着手没动,“不打了,认输。”

闫皓:“……”

“你赢了,”喻兰川说,他话音没落,脚步声响起,“不过私闯民宅的事,得跟警察交代一下。”

“我看见那蜘蛛人了!”

“就他,兰爷,别让他跑了!”

闫皓激灵一下,扭头往小树林里蹿,他脚下好像有一双弹簧似的,弹跳起来真像一只大蜘蛛,从石桌上一跃而过,攀上了一根近三米高的树杈,把自己悠了出去。

就在这时,喻兰川动了,他不知什么时候从地上捡了一颗鹅卵石,狠狠地砸出去,大腿粗的枝干猛地震了一下,把吊在上面的蜘蛛侠狠狠地甩了下来,闫皓落地又要跑,一根树枝横过来挡住了他的去路,喻兰川把树枝当剑,手腕一抖,甩了“蜘蛛侠”一脸露水,露水糊住了眼罩,闫皓闭着眼躲,树枝勾住了紧身衣,劣质紧身衣“嘶拉”一下扯开了,露出里面畏缩的、洗衣店员的脸——

“抓住他了!”

而与此同时,一百一十号院804号,义愤填膺地要带向小满验伤的女警神色古怪地走了出来。

向小满身上干干净净的,没有伤。

<--di--!>
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