第六十三章你们是来搞笑的吗?(1 / 2)
西游:无限体验
橡皮泥战士
1131 字
2022-04-09
玉帝面无表情,内心却烦躁不已。
自石猴出世,西游大劫启动,合该应劫的五枚棋子行踪皆被天道蒙蔽。
但蒙蔽归蒙蔽,便似舞台上忽然没了灯光,看不见演员,却能听到他们的动静,玉帝虽然算不到他们的日常行踪,却仍能感应到大致方位,知道这几枚棋子都还没碎……
唯独此人,空空如也。
这个白白嫩嫩的小和尚,分明看得见,可算下来,竟像完全不曾不存过在一样!
更诡异的是,他方才掐指巡纹,居然没遭反噬!
这就怪了!
没遭反噬,说明出手遮掩的人,境界不如他。
但不如他者,又怎能算不到?
想来想去,玉帝忽然想到一人,不由得打了个寒颤。
师尊鸿钧身合天道,一身法力不可以常理忖度,恐怕只有他出手,才能如此无迹可寻!
玉帝想不通的是,师尊向来无欲无求,不偏不倚,想那封神大劫,分明通天师兄吃了明亏,原始师兄吃了暗亏,西方两个老混蛋赚得盆满钵满,师尊仍遵循天道,却没护短。
西游伊始,大伙儿在紫霄宫中得了师尊法旨:
六圣闭门不出,仍是西方教兴,天庭吃点儿小亏,分一丝气运。
可眼前这人不是劫子,胜似劫子,又作何解?
师尊越来越不可揣摩了……
眼见玉帝神游物外,众仙卿也不敢再提,便纷纷转身去看直播。
白岳已经开始度那业障天罚了!
说起来,太白金星并没有胡扯,这“灭世天罚”果然是针对“作恶多端,罪大恶极,身负大能”之人,天道自然感应这种人法力无边,无论雷霆、阴火、鸹风、魔神、三昧可能都难以将其消弭,重头戏便在本性、业障、心意三罚上面。
任你道法通天,身如金石,但从内部瓦解,却容易许多。
只可惜,白岳并非“作恶多端”。
他上辈子一直是个好学生,好市民,好员工……
自认为恶的,也只有三条——
枉为人子!
枉为人夫!
枉为人父!
所以,业障劫前四道就变得搞笑起来……
被老爹从网吧里拎出来,扇了俩耳刮子,滚回去学习!
被老妈从会议室拎出来,扇了俩耳刮子,滚回去伺候你爹!
被老婆从宴会厅拎出来,扇了俩耳刮子,滚回去洗尿布!
被宝宝从办公室拧着鼻子出来——
爸比,陪我去游乐场……
白岳以为这就完了,可惜他想错了,逼急了,天道也是会凑数的!
没有最搞笑,只有更搞笑!
第五道,东海那只小鲨鱼凶神恶煞的扑过来,哭道:
“我嗓子痛死了,大坏蛋!”
白岳笑道:
“乖啦,嗓子痛吃金嗓子喉宝呀?”
小鲨鱼走了……
第六道,血肉模糊的来福张牙舞爪扑上前来:
“狗贼,还我命来!”
白岳爆喝一声:
“滚你丫的,就你这种人渣,老子见你一次,打爆你一次,信不信?”
来福哭着跑了……
第七道,半只脸的朱九良来了。
白岳瞪了一眼,走了……
第八道,一头没心的巨蟒,一条没脑子的长蛇。
这次白岳没跟他们废话,扬起砂钵大的拳头,好一顿胖揍!
幻境破碎了……
第九道……
<--di--!>
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