第0950章 笑话大师(2 / 2)

“那这人倒是挺有眼光的。”

“老丈啊,这次大典,你只需要先说个开场就好,也耗费不了您多少时间,等你说完了,之后军旅出场的时候,会有号令士卒自己来叫,就不用劳烦你了...”,邓艾说了许久,这老者又拿起文书看了许久,方才点了点头,算是应允了此事。

当时辰到来的时候,那老者直接走上了中央的高台,手里提着马均所研发的扬声筒,一身布衣的打扮,更是让众人有些惊讶,那老者笑眯眯的上了高台,看着周围的众人,提着那筒,说道:“老夫邯郸淳!!”

“哈哈哈~~”,众人顿时大笑了起来,有百姓欢呼了起来,疯狂的拍手叫好,正在远处显得有些焦躁的邓艾,顿时就给愣住了,困惑的看着身边的官吏,询问道:“这长者怎么只是说了名字,就让百姓如此大笑,他很有名气麽??”,那官吏笑着说道:“这位长者编写了很多的书,都是些顽笑,内含大义啊...”

“在邸报上也常常有关于他的新顽笑,对了,他还常常在各地的叙贤堂内讲笑话...故而在百姓之中,名气非常的大。”,听到这些,邓艾方才送了一口气,如此说来,这老者也不会搞砸大典罢,而在远处,眼神不悦的盯着此处,期待着这老头出丑的郑益,听到周围那刺耳的笑声,更是愤怒。

“国之大典,如何能够发笑??毫无仪式,不讲礼法,此人大罪也!”

观望台上的天子也是笑着看着那人,开心的拍起手来,“元姬,朕说的就是这个人,朕很爱听他的笑话,你认真听啊,这个人很有意思的,哈哈哈,邓艾这厮不错啊,竟能找到此人前来,太好了!!”,刘衢开心的叫着,激动的面红耳赤,场下的百姓们也很是开心,显然,对于邯郸淳,他们也很是喜爱。

邯郸淳看着众人,他虽已年老,不过言语清晰,声音洪亮,倒也是在这方面有些能力,他板起脸来,认真的说道:“就在方才,老夫看到一家卖香瓜的,他人正在观望四处,铺子上又没有人,老夫正想要偷一个呢,还没有具体实施,就有三十多个绣衣使者冲了过来,将老夫扭送到了廷尉仆射的面前...”

“老夫那个害怕啊,还以为我大汉的官吏,已经达到了在别人犯罪之前便能提前预知的地步呢!”

“你们也别笑,大汉的确是不少这样的官吏啊,很多时候,为了稳定治安,直接就预知当地游侠会犯事,将他们提前逮捕,以绝后患,现在的官吏们越来越厉害了...不过也有的不成器,竟找了个讲笑话的来主持大典,你说就一个讲笑话的愚公,除了能主持中牟县那个贪污县令的葬礼之外,还能主持个啥呀?”

坐在高台上,刘衢哈哈大笑,笑着笑着,他的脸色忽然凝固了下来,急忙招了招手,邓艾迅速跑到了他的身边,刘衢冰冷的说道:“去查查中牟的县令!!若是他真的犯了错,就地处决,然后请邯郸淳来主持他的葬礼!”

“谨喏....”

“还有,查一查是否有官吏无故捉拿游侠的行为...”

“谨喏!”

“话说来,这次的大典,让我来主持,这是为什么呢,这是陛下要与百姓们同乐啊,陛下没有让那些穿着锦绣的大儒们尚来讲大道理,却是让我这么个老头来,你们得要感谢天子,让你们免费听了一场老夫的顽笑啊,当今天子刚刚登基,首先想的便是让天下百姓们露出笑容来,老夫也不多说了,得趁着那个香瓜铺上还没人...”

“哈哈哈哈!”

众人大笑着,拍着手,送走了这个笑话大师,邯郸淳一脸严肃,却总是严肃的说着一些不着调的话,他缓缓走下场之后,大典还是没有继续进行,又过了一段时日,大家也差不多笑够了,顿时,一阵豪迈的鼓声响起,士卒们疯狂的敲打着大汉战鼓,轰隆隆犹如雷声一般,响彻在众人的心里,那一刻,所有人都近乎于疯狂!!!

“大汉万岁!!!”,众人看的清楚,就在那一刻,大汉天子手持长剑,一脚踩在观望台的护栏上,剑指远方,口中大呼,就在那一刻,所有人都疯狂的大吼了起来,“大汉万岁!!大汉万岁!!”,所有人脸都变成了赤红色,双眼里布满血丝,刘衢也是如此!!

战鼓声随即停下,随后敲响的乃是北军之战鼓!!

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